
She wrote love on her arm
She wrote love on her arm
in the brilliant red of her blood
angry slashes cover white skin
screaming out her silent pain.
She rams fingers down her throat
gagging on bruised knuckles
tears staining her cheeks black
she purges hate and disgust
She bites her tongue off
throws it on the floor and stomps
scared it will shriek like a banshee
all the misery her mouth locks in
3am Ramblings
It’s nights like this that haunt you
when the dark pit that is your soul
shakes you awake to be heard
demanding the façade be dropped.
When the rain against the window
chants all your missed opportunities
and the wind whispers your every regret.
As dawn chases night from the sky
and your heart is healed for now
when light seeps under the door
only then your mask slips back on
until the next long sleepless night.
When you wander the silent halls
of your home in hope of answers
and buried hurts of the past
play out before you on bare walls
like a movie in slow motion on mute.
When all your armour is removed
and your heart bleeds onto the floor
while your tears soak your feet
as the thunder and lightning outside
mirror the war raging in your heart.
Versions of me
They come to me when I sleep
the past versions of me
they know what I need
even when I do not
The warrior gives strength
feeding my heart with courage
‘You are strong’ she whispers
The Goddess anoints me
drawing runes across my flesh
‘You are blessed’ she declares
The teacher unlocks my innate
tapping into my subconscious
‘You are gifted’ she reassures
The mother gives me love
envelopes me with her embrace
‘You are loved’ she promises
I wake and I am soothed
comforted by the many women I am
aware that I am all of them
Warrior, Goddess, Teacher and Mother
I am strong
I am blessed
I am gifted
I am loved
Eden
When the sun crashes onto the Earth
and the moon sinks under the sea
do not fret my darling,
I will find us our own Eden.
When the rain is hard and wet
and the cold is bone deep
do not fret my darling
I will hold you till the shivering stops.
Metamorphosis Reversed
The butterfly was majestic
her wings full of colour
hues of vibrant red, purple and blue
she loved to fly amongst the clouds
gliding, the wind lifting her
no other butterfly could compare
But then things changed
no matter how hard she tried
she could not feel any joy
the warmth of the sun, the blue sky
nothing gave her happiness anymore
Day by day, her beautiful colour faded
greys and browns now spread across her body
her brilliance now dull and muted
covered by a coat of dust and despair
but at least she could still fly, escape her pain
until one day tragedy struck
her wings began to wear thin, eventually tearing
what were once strong, luscious and full
became tattered and sparse as the scales shed completely
the butterfly felt such shame and sorrow
she was no longer admired but shunned
being earth bound wounded her soul
So in the end, there was only one thing left to do
she laboured day and night
painstakingly building her chrysalis
until finally it was complete
slowly she crawled inside, exhausted
sealing her tomb, safe within her womb
Loneliness
I am always alone
Wondering through vacant rooms
Threading through crowded streets
Nobody by my side
Surrounded by empty space
It is forever quiet
Silence constantly all around me
trapped in a cocoon
the mute button firmly stuck
stillness is suffocating at times
I miss being touched
Being held in a hug
Warm skin brushing against me
Cold feet under the covers
Butterfly kisses across my eyelids
Mothering
I am blessed with two beautiful children
a girl and boy, a pigeon pair
they have taught me so much
each of them a revelation to me
My daughter has the heart of a warrior
coupled with a strong sense of justice
she will fight for the under-dog
she hates to see anyone miss out
this is married with an innocent spirit
people are trusted and forgiven many times
she is on the brink of adulthood now
and a gypsy spirit is emerging
she wants to roam and taste the world
she is a fledging ready to take flight
fly safe my darling, return home safely
My boy is rock, strong and steady
his heart is a big as an ocean and as deep
he will protect loved ones without hesitation
will be the one you turn to in time of need
born wise beyond his years, an old soul
he sees your true essence every time
He is all gangly limbs at the moment
but I see the man he will grow to be
he will be a the one who catches you
the one who will be your light in the dark
protect your heart, my dear boy
I always tell my children that love is everything
it is all you need, the answer to everything
keep your heart open, fill it with joy
show others kindness and respect
don’t be afraid to give of yourself to people
because a life without human connection
is a life not fully lived
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